Times and times again, I was challenged to surrender, to trust the Lord, to get out of my comfort zone. Times and times again, God threw my way tests of humility, discipline and of patience in every area of my life. My spiritual director once made me realize that on the path of holiness, one does not need to look for mortification; it will find you. My oh my, mortifications found me. Do I regret it no? I do confess there were times I thought: 'Lord, is there any way I can do for a while without tests, trials and mortifications?' and soon, I would be reminded of the words of Thomas Kempis in Imitation of Christ:
"As long as we live in this world, we cannot be without temptations and tribulations. Hence it is written in Job -Man's life on earth is a temptation.- Everyone therefore should be solicitous about his temptations and watch in prayer (....) Netherless, temptations are very profitable to man, troublesome and grievous though they may be, for in them a man is humbled, purified and instructed... " -Bk 1, ch 13
Needless to say, prayer at times translated into seasons of silence and pondering or into seasons of full bast singing wholeheartedly. Other times, praying was like sitting with your best friend and giving him a piece of your mind :-) Through it all, God sustained me to keep moving forward. The fruits of it definitively showed everywhere else.
Some of the fruits were for me to reconnect with my gift of writing. Unless a talent is polished, it does not get better. So here am I writing poetry again, and as encouraged by some of my precious sisters in Christ, I've also now began to share with you tidbits of my journey with the Lord. Some of the fruits were also to choose to do few things well rather than being in all tomatoe sauces; this was a difficult one, but I learned to let the Lord make the final call. and many more fruits yet to unfold ...What has the Lord in store for me in this upcoming year? I do not know, but as we journey together, we will witness together. We will laugh together, cry together, shout together, and above continue to praise Him in every circumstance.
Fanny Magnificat, The Lord's Affairs #2
