Confiteor:
I confess to Almighty God,
and
to you my brothers and sisters
that
I have sinned
in
my thoughts...
Hold up here for a moment!
After complaining to my
parents over the years about understand why my blessings were not coming to me
like everyone else, and after wondering why the more I walked with our Lord,
the harder things got at times. Yet when Jesus would unleash the fullness his
blessings for me, it was often more than I had dreamed of. Still I would
wrestle with it. I finally resolved myself to reporting once Jesus to my
spiritual director. His words dropped like Wasabi (Japanese pepper). It was one
of those moments when you sense clearly that it is not the priest, but Jesus
Himself who just spoke to you, and you realize that you just reported Jesus to
Jesus! That day it became clear that mortifications have been much part of my
upbringing, liked me too much, and were not ready to part from me. So I learned
that day that whether I searched for them or not, my dear mortifications would
always find me. As hard as there are, I have been challenged to grow in the way
of the Lord through them. I, later, came to discover that you cannot be a
Beloved daughter of Our Lady and be exempt of mortifications. Great!
But what are mortifications?
The New Catholic Encyclopedia
defines mortification as a “…deliberate restraint that one places on
natural impulses in order to make them increasingly subject to sanctification
through obedience to reason illumined by Faith… And so mortification… has
become a distinguishing mark of those who are Christ’s…”.
As per St John Paul II in one of his letter to priests, these “…forms of penance – which, unfortunately,
our times are not accustomed to (have for ) motives: the love of God and the
conversion of sinners.”
Therefore, when we embrace mortification in our life, it is because we
ourselves desire to grow closer to the Lord. You’ll be tried, but you know at
as long as you stick with God like Job, you’ll come out more victorious;
shining more Christ for the world. When we welcome mortification, it is because
our Lord’s ultimate goal is to sanctify us and perfect our communion with him. Jesus
himself in the Scriptures clearly said “If anyone wants to be a follower of
mine, let him renounce himself and take up his cross every day and follow me.” (Lk 9:23)
Now going back to the Confiteor, every Sunday or every day at
mass, we get through it either profoundly considering its every word, or
routinely reciting through it. Yet, there is one line that tends to get to me,
and that line broken down has had even more impact in my life when I was
introduced to a specific type of mortification; Mortification of the
Mind!
I still remember as if it
was yesterday the day Jesus, through the priest, gave me for spiritual
exercise to practice 'Mortification of
Mind'. My thoughts went racing in all directions. It was the weirdest
experience ever. It is almost as if my brain felt threatened for a
moment; a moment that lasted a whole day. It was so bad, and so unusual that I
was not able to study and went straight to bed in the middle of the
afternoon. However, as the fruits of it unfolded over the days, weeks, and
months to come, this type of
mortification has become my best friend, my ally. I can no longer part from
it, as I see that it is necessary for me every jiffy of the day. It literally
helps me deal any other mortification that comes my way. It’s been blessing me
again and again to live out in a concrete manner the words of the apostle Paul
to the Romans: 'Do not model your behaviour on the contemporary world, but
let the renewing of your mind transform you, so that you
may discern for yourself what is the will of God -
what is good and acceptable and mature.' (12:2)
There is so much I wish
to share in terms of how I did benefit from it. However, let me say that the
ongoing practice of disciplining my mind has rescued me from sabotaging myself
when I expected it the least, and on the other hand has given me the courage to
seek both God’s will and walk into it at other times. It has challenged me to trust God’s
time and purpose rather than live in my mind my relationship with others. As a
single, it is so easy to get sidetracked
and want to do your own thing. So as a Lady-In-
Waiting, I would constantly find myself running now to God’s arms to seek
to understand God’s purpose when it comes to others before drawing conclusion.
Other times, if there is no answer, I’ll let it go until our Lord unfolds the
meaning. When my mind attempts to go sideways in a conversation, I’ll start
pray or shout loudly ‘Mortification of Mind’ :-)
So imagine when in
class last week, my professor mentioned, a
few times, struggles affecting both youth, singles and families. The lightbulb
went on when she gave the statistics of the amount of Singles that do not
transition well from singleness to marriage; it is easily in the eighty percent.
At that point, I confess my mind did not stay still. Rather, I caught myself rebuking
such statistics, and praying: ‘Oh Heaven no! Mother Mary, you been handling
this child, and you must continue to handle my future’s every step because too
much has been invested in this child spiritually! Lol!’ Since the focus are not the stats and its consequences, let this be a conversation for another
day, and let say this much. I am blessed at school to hear all
the amazing stories of the classmates I am surrounded with especially my sisters in Christ during this season of my life. I feel blessed of all I am
learning, and how God is using every bit to form me.
Now, for those of us singles walking either as Singles
permanently or as Ladies in Waiting, do we present our every decision to the Lord? Do we submit our friendships and/or courtships
to the Lord? Have we asked Him if
He’s given permission for the steps ahead? Are we still and moving with the
Lord or are we attempting to bypass Him? It is up to Him to open the doors when
He wills and how He wills. Until then, the Lord wills of us to continue to walk
as Virtuous Ladies. My dear Ladies In Waiting, dying to ourselves and trusting
the Heavenly Father to mold our minds will save us from worrying, because
training our minds will teach us to seek whether this moment is about us or about God’s glory. Whether it be
intellectual, social, spiritual, issues to be resolved, do we move as the
world, or do we pause at the feet of our Lady for counsel? My favorite part, submitting our mind to the discipline of the Holy Spirit even detaches us from stress before our imagination flies to Troubleland... lol, true or truth !?!
Mortification of Mind for my Sisters and Aunties In Christ can make a difference in your
marriages. It delivers us from the temptations of unnecessary arguments or ill
accusations in a marriage. There
is power in it, because Mortification of Mind, for my sisters, aunties in
Christ who are married, will train you and your spouse’ thoughts before we
speak them.
Seriously! Because you will learn to
fast like Queen Esther before you speak. It will get you to ask yourself: ‘Is this
I am seeing what it truly is?’ or an attitude of ‘Lord, I surrender this to
you.’ It is powerful to run things through God before we act. Sometimes, He
will affirm your walk through Scriptures. Other times, He won’t.
What
St Paul is asking of us is hard, but he wants us to let the Holy Spirit
convicts us again and again. I've come to personally see Mortification of Mind
as my daily intellectual workout. I am not saying that it is the only thing
that helps, but I am confident that Our good Lord in his infinite mercy
unfolded another depth of the gift of allowing the Holy Spirit to shield our
minds through our Lady’s intercession. As challenging as it, you’ll soon realize that
this is one of the most amazing gifts God can give us during the seasons of our
Singleness. You’ll see that when you compare seasons of your life without it,
you are blessed during these days to be clothed with it. I know I've addressed quite a bit my sisters in Christ, but to practice mortifying our minds isn't just for ladies. Therefore, to both my sisters and my
brothers in Christ, mortification of mind train us to pray differently, to respond
to God differently, to move with God peacefully, patiently and obediently. It
will change how you deal with your colleagues at work. Mortifying our minds teaches
us to practice Self Control of the mind, of our words and even our actions. It
teaches us to see things through the eyes of the Holy Trinity. Nowadays, Mortification of Mind gives
me the strength of a baobab J, so wherever you at in your life,
start and share with me how it moves you one day at a time. As we prepare to enter
this year of the Jubilee, may God bless us to move through life according to
His plan for His greater glory. Unless our minds be trained, we cannot see all He wills for us to see. Therefore, let us be blessed, and unite ourselves with God in Faith, as He continuously challenges us to Be who He's calling us to be. I bet reciting the Confiteor will never be the same again when we go for mass :-)
Cheers,
Fanny Magnificat.
This is serious exercise for me, because I love to share God's wonders in my life... On the other hand, I began to learn the consequences of sharing before God's time. It bothered me so much that I began to wonder why Our lady kept to herself for 33 years that her Son is divine. So I been learning the art of pondering! That pondering gift of hers worked me, works me, and probably will for the rest of my days. So here we are again... January 1st,the feast of our Blessed Mother Mary, Mother of God! Let us faithfully sit at her feet hoping that she could unfold further the fruits of that virtue in my life, and in our life. Enjoy this little token!
